The Bible says that you are to be gracious in what you say. That means your goal in conversation should always be to bring out the best in others, not denigrate them or cut them off. Good communication makes good friends, so you need to be clear when it comes to your personal boundaries, beliefs, values and desires. It may well be true that more problems are forgotten than are ever solved, but healthy relationships sometimes call for healthy confrontation. And there’s a right time and a right way to do it.
When you have to deal with a difficult situation, pray and stand on this Scripture: ‘My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the utterance from my heart will give understanding.’ Your words are the vehicle through which your thoughts are conveyed, and your tongue is the driver. So if you don’t want to end up on the wrong road, or end up in a wreck, pray: ‘Lord, give me words of wisdom. Help me to say the right thing, in the right way, at the right time.’
The Holy Spirit is a great driving instructor! He will guide you, instruct you and keep working with you until you get it right. He will help you grow in grace until you reach the place of maturity in your relationships where you’re able to say, ‘My advice is wholesome. There is nothing devious or crooked in it. My words are plain to anyone with understanding, clear to those with knowledge.’ (Proverbs 8:8–9 NLT) When you can say that, you know you’re making progress!