If you’re serious about managing your anger, here are two things to keep in mind:
(1) Don’t hang out your dirty laundry in public. Keep it in the laundry room. When you’re hurt and angry, spreading gossip about your offender comes naturally. Don’t do it. The Bible says, ‘A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.’ Dirty laundry generally gets aired in two ways:
(a) Embarrassment: you say things when you know others will hear them.
(b) Subtlety: you make jokes about their appearance, their friends and family, their personal hang-ups and habits in order to belittle them. This results in embarrassment for the other person, widens the gap between you, and makes reconciliation virtually impossible. The Bible says, ‘Love covers all sins.’ (Proverbs 10:12 NKJV)
(2) Don’t act in an un-Christlike way. For example, don’t say, ‘He brought it on himself, so let him get over it.’ That may be true, but as a follower of Christ, don’t walk away and leave wounds to fester and become infected. ‘Forgive… just as God forgave you.’ (Ephesians 4:32 CEV) How did Christ forgive you? Was it after you’d acknowledged, confessed, repented, and earned grace? No.
Paul says, ‘When we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son.’ (Romans 5:10 NKJV) Just as God took the initiative, you are called to extend grace to other people before they ask for forgiveness. And even if they choose to remain your enemy, you must forgive them anyhow. Only then will you have peace, your wounds will be healed, and you will be able to put it behind you.